Surprise! You’re a Father
by jlhtbs
Summary: Harm gets the shock of his life.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Surprise! You're a Father.

Author: Jennifer

Rating: PG to PG-13

Disclaimer: JAG and all its characters belong to DPB, CBS and Paramount. I'm only borrowing them temporarily.

Summary: Harm gets the shock of his life.

Spoilers: Occurs after Harm's return to JAG after Paraguay. Mattie does not exist for this story's purpose. Tiner never left and Coates is still there.

JAG HQ

"Hello, I'm looking for a Commander Rabb. Can you help me?"

Tiner looked up from his desk. Sure all the cute ones look for the Commander. It just wasn't fair. "Yes Ma'am. He is in his office. Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but this is extremely important. Do you think I can speak to him?" She was tentative, but persistent. The young woman, all of 25, knew how critical it was to speak to the Commander. However, she wasn't familiar with Navy protocol. "My name is Maria Lucen. I'm from the Department of Social Services."

Tiner's attitude brightened when he heard she was here on business. Maybe he could ask her out on a date. "Just one moment Ma'am."

Rabb was buried under a mountain of paper work. The latest investigation on the Seahawk had caused hours of follow-ups and delays on his other cases. If he didn't catch up soon, the Admiral would want to know why. "Enter." He didn't bother to raise his head and see who entered his small office.

"Sir, there is a Miss Lucen here to see you from social services. She doesn't have an appointment, but she says it's important. Do you have a moment to speak to her?" Tiner stood at attention and waited for the Commander to respond. Commander Rabb's head was still buried in his work and he had yet to acknowledge Tiner's presence.

In reality, he didn't have time for anyone, but his curiosity was piqued. "Not really, but send her in anyway." Tiner returned to the bullpen and found Ms. Lucen waiting patiently and ushered her into the commander's office.

"Ms. Lucen, come on in. Take a seat." Harm pointed to a chair before making himself comfortable behind his desk. "How can I help you?"

"Well Commander, I don't know how to begin this. A client of mine asked me to track you down. A number of years ago, you were a client at the fertility clinic on Madison Ave., correct?" Maria knew this was a sensitive subject and had to be broken gently to the tall man sitting in front of her. Although she had practiced beforehand and went over it numerous times, she still didn't feel comfortable changing this man's life with a few words. Unfortunately, she had no other choice and time was of the essence.

Harm wasn't exactly sure what was going on. He remembered visiting the clinic. He had taken too many risks that year and had been afraid something might eventually happen that would prevent another generation of Rabb aviators. "Yes, I did, but I don't understand why you're asking. How did you get that information? It's supposed to be kept confidential."

"A few years ago, a woman visited the clinic for assistance getting pregnant. The clinic made a mistake. You're sperm was used in the procedure." Maria waited and carefully watched the Commander for his reaction.

"You have to be kidding me. Tell me this is a joke. Someone in the office put you up to this. Or was it Keeter? Yeah, Keeter put you up to his. Where is that fool? He had to realize I would never fall for this trick." Harm stood up and glanced into the hallway expecting to find his old friend Keeter lurking around.

"Commander, I don't know who this Keeter is. I promise you this isn't a joke and my explanation is going to get even more complicated." She waited a moment as Harm returned to his seat. "The woman was single when the procedure was done and remained single. Recently, she was diagnosed with cancer. She's trying to find out if you have any interest in the child. She realizes that this is a shock to you, but she has no family who can care for the child. She's trying to make arrangements so the child doesn't wind up in the foster care system." Now that the bare facts had been revealed, she sat back and allowed the astonished man to digest her news.

Harm couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was a father, a father to a child who would loose their mother and only parent or family he or she had ever known in just a few months time. Well, that wasn't true. The child had a family, his, they just didn't realize it. Harm finally seemed to pull out of his internal dialog and acknowledge Ms. Lucen again. "I'm a father? Wow. Is the child a boy or girl? Not that it matters, but." Harm wasn't sure what else to say. This woman just walked into his life and changed everything. This was his child and he couldn't have another Rabb child growing up without a father. Maria's next words shook Harm from his reflection.

"She's a girl. Her name is Alyssa. She's almost 5 years old."

"I have a little girl?"

Maria smiled sweetly, watching Mr. Rabb learn of his daughter. His face brightened and he gained a far off look in his eyes. "Yes you do. She's an amazing little girl. I know this is very sudden and shocking. Normally, when I've met someone who wants to be a parent, I tell him or her to take their time and understand what kind of changes a child will bring into their life. However, with my client's failing heath, time has become an issue. Now, you can change your mind later, but I need to know if you're interested in meeting your daughter and maybe obtaining custody." She held her breath as the man sat silently before her. The little girl held a special place in her heart. She would have to see such a wonderful child go to child services if there was a father who could love and support her.

A daughter, a little girl. There was no way he could refuse any child. The shock and happiness wore off as he realized his daughter was watching her mother die and had no one to rely on. With a serious expression on his face, he returned his focus on Ms. Lucen. "I'm very interested. I'll do anything you need me to."

"Are you ready to be a father?"

"No. My life screams bachelor. I have a one-bedroom apartment. I travel with work at a moment notice. I've taken some large risks lately, but I can't imagine anyone is really prepared. I can promise you I'll do everything you deem necessary. I'll make changes to my life; whatever's best for Alyssa." He didn't quite know what it would take, but if it meant getting his daughter, he would do it.

Maria smiled in relief. This man might just be the answer to all their prayers. "Well, before we make you move or any other drastic changes, would you like to meet Alyssa and her mom? You'll also need to have a DNA test done. Although we're positive you're the father, we need to be 100 sure. I hope you understand."

"Of course. Tell me when and where. How soon do you think we can get this done?" Harm was anxious to meet Alyssa.

"Well, I can arrange for the blood tests for a few days from now. As for meeting Alyssa and her mother, would tomorrow evening be soon enough? Margaret, Alyssa's mother, wants to meet you first and discuss some things with you before you meet Alyssa?" She and Maggie had discussed at length how they would introduce Alyssa to her father. First it was agreed that the Commander should be made aware of all things going on with Maggie's health and her wishes for Alyssa.

Harm checked his date book quickly before agreeing to the plans. After arranging a time and a place, Harm escorted Maria out of his office. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow night then?"

"Commander, I know this is all a shock, but I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe it could work out best for everyone. If you have any questions you need answered before tomorrow, give me a call. Margaret and Alyssa are very special to me." She handed him a business card as they passed through the bullpen.

"Thank you. I may just call you when my mind starts functioning again." Harm chuckled. He was certain he was suffering from shock.

"See you tomorrow then?"

"Till tomorrow." As he watched Maria leave, a thought suddenly occurred to him. "Wait Maria. You don't happen to have a picture, do you?"

Maria's smile brightened even further. "Yes I do." For a moment, she dug through her purse and pulled out her wallet. "This is Maggie and Alyssa. It was taken last Christmas. Maggie was going through chemo at the time, but some friends chipped in and helped make it special. I'll see you tomorrow." Maria glanced once more at the dazed Navy man, before leaving to tell Margaret the good news.

Harm stood in the middle of the bullpen staring at the picture. This was his daughter. Alyssa was a beautiful little girl with dark hair and green eyes. Dressed in a red velvet gown, she sat in her mother's lap with the brightest smile on her face. She reminded him of his grandmother. He took a closer look at her mother. Even though she smiled brightly and was dressed impeccably, Harm could see the cancer had already made an impact. She looked incredibly thin and tired. Next to their healthy daughter, she looked frail. Harm immediately knew he would help her. This woman was the mother of his child. Granted, he never met her, or asked for a child, he would do everything in his power to help her.

"Is there a problem Commander?"

The voice of the Admiral stirred Harm out of his thoughts. "No sir, no problem."

"Don't you have reports over due. I suggest you get them done rather than standing here doing nothing."

"Yes sir. Right away sit." Harm quickly headed back to his office. Carefully he placed the picture of Alyssa and Margaret against another on his desk. Then he turned his attention to his paperwork in hope that it would make time pass by faster.


	2. Chapter 2

Following evening

Margaret's home

Outside DC Area

Harm anxiously knocked on the door. After a full day of waiting, he would finally meet Alyssa. Maria had called him again and arranged a blood test for the next day. Tonight, he would be speaking with Margaret about what the future would hold.

He quickly double-checked his appearance while he heard someone nearing the door.

"You must be Commander Rabb. I'm Margaret Ritcher. Come on in." Maggie wasn't surprised to see such a handsome man at her door. She had fully looked into the Commander's background when she discovered he was the father. Articles and picture galore were available on the internet and Navy times. Besides, Alyssa's looks had to come from some one.

"It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am. Please call me Harm."

"Please call me Margaret or Maggie. Can I get you anything to drink?" Maggie ushered Harm into the living room.

"No thank you. I'm fine."

"Sit down, please. I can't imagine what you're thinking about now. I'm sure up till yesterday you're life was nice and calm." Maggie chuckled remembering how Maria had described Harm's shocked reaction to Alyssa.

"Well, I can safely say it was a shock. I've always wanted children, but I figured I would know their mother first."

"When I first became sick, the doctor's fear it could be a genetic condition. Since I couldn't be sure I passed it on to Alyssa I went to social services and asked for help finding the donor. When the clinic admitted their mistake, I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't know if you were happily married with your own children. Maria helped me get some information and get in touch with you. She's been a god sent. Actually, she took Alyssa out for ice cream before you came. They'll be back later."

"I'm still not sure what you're looking for or how we go about this."

"It's simple and complicated and I have no idea. All I can do is be extremely honest and blunt with you. When the doctor's only gave me a few months, Maria helped me look into your background. I know it's probably not fair, but I know all about you. From what I've heard, you're an honest, well-respected, compassionate man. You are also biologically Alyssa's father and her only relative. She'll have no one else. I grew up in foster homes and I won't do the same to her. I know you can provide a good life for her."

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry hardly seems appropriate. I'm not sure how, but I'll be there for her. I know what it's like to loose a parent when you're young. When I lost my father, I was probably only a year older than she was. Is there any hope you can beat this? Is there a doctor or a treatment some where you could try?" Harm was not unhappy to learn about his daughter, he was just regretted the news was prompted by Maggie's illness.

"No, I've tried just about everything. The only thing keeping me going is Aly. I wanted to make sure there is someone to care for her and give her some time to get to know them. I'm hoping that someone would be you." Maggie knew it might be unfair to ask him such a thing, but life just wasn't fair. If it was, she would be alive to see all the important milestones in her daughter's life.

Harm reached forward and held Maggie's hand. "I wouldn't have it any other way. I know I haven't met her yet, but I think I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her picture."

"Don't let that innocent look fool you. She can be a holy terror. She's probably getting a little spoiled too. I just can't seem to say no to her anymore." It happened more and more lately. Aly would look at her with those puppy eyes asking for something. She just didn't have the heart to refuse her or see a look of disappointment in her eyes.

"It's understandable. So, what did you have in mind?"

"I was hoping the three of us could spend some time together and get to know each other first. Later, when Aly's more comfortable with you, I was hoping you could spend time together and get her adjusted to your life style. I would like to keep custody of her as long as possible. I just don't want to miss too many days with her." It was hard to keep the tears under control. She knew her days with Aly were few, but voicing it made it all the more real. She wasn't scared to die, but she was afraid to leave Aly alone.

"You have this all planned out."

"She's my life. Soon she'll be yours."

Harm and Maggie continued to talk. They spoke of their own childhood and family. Maggie told stored about Aly and showed Harm a few of the many photo albums she had. As time passed, Maggie grew more and more confident she had made the right decision. She could see the Commander's sincere interest and joy when speaking of Alyssa. Along with his gentle nature, Maggie relaxed knowing the last major task was being taken care of. In time, she could die peacefully knowing Harm would care and protect her baby.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Maria accompanied the whirlwind that came flying through the door. "Ms. Maria take me for ice cream."

"That's great honey. Come over and sit with mommy." She pulled the child next to her. She knew it could wait, but why put off the inevitable. "Remember when we talked about me being sick. And how I told you about how you were born?" After receiving a nod from the dark-haired bundle of energy, she continued. "Well, Maria and I found the man who helped give me you. He's going to take care of you when I can't be here anymore." She watched her daughter for a reaction.

Aly understood what her mother was trying to say. Ever since she had gotten sick, her mommy had tons of talks about how she was born and what would happen when her mommy went to heaven. She saw the tall man sitting cross from her. He was so tall and big, but the smile on his face reassured her. She took one last look at her mother before climbing off the sofa. Standing in front of the man, she asked him a question. "Are you my daddy?"

"Yes, I am." Harm could hardly keep the tears from his eyes as the little girl launched herself into his arms.

JAG HQ

A few weeks later

Harm spent the next few weeks spending every spare moment with Maggie and Alyssa. His daughter was the most amazing little girl. They went to the park together, watched movies, and played games. Harm had taken them both up to see his plane and even taken them for a ride. Everyday he fell in love with her again. There were only two dark spots in his life. One was watching Maggie deteriorate. She seemed to get weaker each day. The other was JAG. Things had been tense between him and the others. The Admiral seemed to be constantly disappointed in his work. He couldn't remember what Mac was mad at him for this time and Sturgis was being short with everyone. Due to the unusual circumstances behind finding Alyssa, he had kept his daughter and the recent changes to his life from the staff. Once he was on everyone's good side again, he would introduce them to Alyssa and Maggie.

He was supposed to be finishing up an opening statement for court on Monday when a cry through the bullpen diverted his attention. He knew that cry. Although he had only heard it once, it had broken his heart. Springing from his chair, he entered the bullpen to find Maria trying to comfort his crying daughter.

Maria sighed in relief when she spotted the Commander. "Commander, I'm so sorry. I couldn't calm her down enough. She insisted on seeing you."

Harm immediately pulled the little girl into his arms. "Oh baby, what's wrong? Don't cry. I'm right here." He listened as her cries started to abate as exhaustion took over. "Maria, what happened?"

"It's Maggie. She collapsed. They rushed her to the hospital. The staff there knows me and called. When I got there, Aly was inconsolable. She kept crying for you." She took a deep breath before delivering the final bad news. "Harm, I spoke with the doctor briefly. Maggie slipped into a coma. They are pretty sure this is it." She tried to wipe away the tears as the fell down her face.

Harm couldn't believe it. They were supposed to have more time. He wasn't ready yet. Alyssa and he both needed Maggie still. "Oh baby. I'm so sorry. I've got you baby. I've got you." As he regained control of his emotions, he noticed Alyssa had cried herself to sleep. He could feel the tears seep through his uniform and against his skin. "I'll take care of you baby. I promise." He continued to rub her back in a soothing motion and kissed her head.

The sound of someone clearing their throat alerted Harm to his surroundings. He had momentarily forgotten they were standing in the middle of the bullpen. All the other personnel stood motionless, watching the spectacle displayed before them. Silently he cursed himself for forgetting proper protocol. However, his daughter was more important. If the Admiral had a problem, who cared. Turning around, he noticed the Admiral standing in the doorway, his eyebrows raised in interest.

Speaking softly, careful not to disturb Aly, he addressed his commanding officer. "Sir, if you give me a moment to get Ms. Lucen and Alyssa into my office, I can explain everything."

"My office. Five minutes Commander!"

Harm turned back to Maria and directed her toward his office. "Maria, can you stay with her for a few moments? I have some explaining to do."

"Sure."

Harm carefully placed Aly into one of the extra chairs in his office. After ensuring she would sleep for a few more minutes, he excused himself and prepared to face the music. Harm approached the Admiral's office and avoided all the curious looks from his coworkers. Now how was he supposed to explain this? As he neared the office, Tiner waved him in. He knocked and waited for a response.

"Enter."

From the gruff tone in the Admiral's voice, Harm knew this wouldn't be easy. "Sir, first I'd like to apologize for the break in protocol. It won't happen again."

"Take a seat Commander." The Admiral gathered his thoughts before proceeding. "Is this child your latest obsession?"

Harm's blood began to boil. He knew the Admiral was only looking for a reaction, but the comment still stung. "No sir. She is my daughter."

"Explain now."

"I only found out a few weeks ago. Alyssa is my daughter. I have submitted the proper paperwork to add her to my dependents." Harm tried to remain as professional as possible. He didn't want to give the Admiral more ammunition.

"I don't give a dam about paperwork. You've known about her for weeks and you haven't said anything!" The Admiral was out of his chair and opened the door to his office. "Tiner, I want to see the Colonel now!"

This was going downhill fast. Harm didn't have the time to deal with this. He needed to focus his energy on Alyssa and Maggie. "Sir, with all due respect, what does the Colonel have to do with this?"

Mac stood at attention in front of the Admiral's door. She sent a cold glare at Harm before shifting her attention back to their commanding officer. "Sir, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, did you know about this?"

"About what Sir?"

"Commander Rabb's daughter."

The door to the Admiral's office was still open. Harm watched as those close by froze upon hearing the Admiral's statement. At least now he wouldn't need to find a way to break the news to the staff. His eyes rested on Mac finally. The confusion and anger were obvious from her expression. He just didn't understand what she had the right to be mad about. They had stopped being friends and sharing their lives weeks ago.

"No sir. I didn't." Mac was shocked. Of all the things she expected to hear, this wasn't one of them.

"Sir, the Colonel had no knowledge of my daughter, neither did anyone else." Harm needed to finish up and head to the hospital. "Admiral, I would like to request emergency family leave."

"For what reasons?"

Harm knew he didn't provide a complete explanation, but he didn't believe they deserved to know so many details of his personal life anymore. "Sir, Alyssa's mother was just taken to the hospital. They don't believe she's going to survive. I'd like to take Alyssa to say good-bye. I'll also need some time to take care of the arrangements and finalize day care for Aly for when I return to work."

"Oh Harm." Mac's expression softened as she watched Harm fight for control during his explanation.

Even the admiral softened. Leaning back against his chair, he placed his glasses on the desk. "Harm, you know if you need time, you have it. Why didn't you tell us earlier about your daughter?"

Harm allowed himself to drop his guard momentarily. "Sir, Maggie has terminal cancer. She's been getting progressively worse. She collapsed today. The woman who brought Aly is a friend. Apparently, Maggie has slipped into a coma. I'm not sure how long I'll need. I do need at least a few days to make arrangements for Alyssa while I'm at work."

Admiral Chedwiggen knew a stone wall when he saw one. Rabb wasn't about to give out any further details. Knowing he'd have to wait for some answers, he agreed to Harm's request. "Leave granted. You have 2 weeks. If you need more, just let me know." He watched the officer before him return to attention. AJ wondered when their relationship became so strained. "Harm, I'm very sorry. If you need anything, give us a call. Also, if you have a minute, can you pass any open cases to Colonel Mackenzie."

"Thank you Sir. I'll keep you informed."

"My sympathies Commander. Please let us know if there is to be a service. Dismissed."

Harm practically sprinted out of the Admiral's office and into his own. As he walked in the door, he froze in his tacks. Harriet Sims had Alyssa on her lap and was trying to comfort her. When Harriet noticed the Commander, she attempted to stand. Feeling the disturbance, Alyssa looked up. Seeing her daddy, she climbed down and launched herself into his arms.

"Commander, Ms. Lucen had to make a phone call. I volunteered to stand with Alyssa until she returned." As Harriet watched the father and daughter together, it struck her as the most natural thing in the world. Alyssa resembled the Commander in so many ways. She had his dark hair, eyes, and from what little she had seen, his personality. Harriet knew Harm was wonderful with little AJ and had always thought he'd be a wonderful father. Watching the little girl take comfort in his strong arms, she knew she was right.

"Thank you Lieutenant. Alyssa, I just need a few minutes then we can go see the doctor about mommy. Okay?"

"Mommy's going to heaven soon."

It broke Harm's heart to see Aly so sad and to know she would never speak to her mother again. "Yeah baby. Mommy will be going to heaven soon, but remember what she told you. She'll be up there looking over you every day and you can always talk with her. Okay?" A small head moved against his neck and he felt the arms around his neck tighten.

"Sir, if you need any help, just let Bud or I know. We'll help any way we can." Harriet felt tears in her eyes watching the little girl cry into the Commander's shoulder.

"Actually Harriet, I need to leave for the hospital, but my cases need to be organized first. Would you mind helping Alyssa wash her face and maybe get her a drink of water. I just need a minute to get these things organized and to Colonel Mackenzie."

"Of course Sir."

"Aly, Lieutenant Sims will take you for a few minutes okay. Will you go with her and be a good girl?" Harm watched as she nodded and latched onto Harriet's out stretched hand. As the door closed, he realized the enormity of Maria's announcement. He would be a single father. For the second time since discovering Aly's existence, he felt the weight of the responsibility.

Harm shook himself from his thoughts and focused on getting through the day. First, he needed to clean off his desk. Quickly glancing through his files, he tried to determine what needed to be handled and what could wait. He hadn't received too many new cases lately, so the majority of the folders were paperwork. Maybe after Aly went to sleep he could finish some. He grabbed what he could and shoved it into his briefcase. He delivered the remaining folders to Coates to pass off to the Admiral or Mac.

"Jen, can you see that the Admiral gets these. Let him know I'm taking the remaining files with me. I'll have my phone on if anyone needs me, but try to avoid calling. When I get this paper work done, I'll drop it off."

Jen accepted the files and made a note to herself. She had heard most of what occurred while the Commander and Colonel were with the Admiral. "Sir, no one will call unless it's an emergency."

With a small smile, Harm grabbed his briefcase and cover. It was time to find his daughter and head to the hospital. He just prayed it wasn't too late to say good-bye. A quick glace told him Harriet was still gone.

"Commander," Jen called softly. "Sir, I heard and know it may seem inappropriate, but congratulations. She's a beautiful little girl. I'm sorry about her mother. If you need anything or someone to baby sit, I'd be honored if you called me." Jen could remember when she lost her own mother as a young girl. She wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. However, this little girl would be luckier than she was. With the Commander as her father, she would still have a wonderful childhood. Jen was positive of that if nothing else. Harmon Rabb went to great lengths to help her when she was a stranger. She knew he would move heaven and earth for his own daughter.

Watching the emotions and sincerity Jen displayed reminded him he didn't have to do this alone. "Thank you Jen. She's the best thing that has happened to me. I just wish things could have been different for her."

"She will always have you Sir. She'll be okay."

"Thanks again Jen. I may just take you up on your offer."

"Daddy."

Harm turned to spot Aly and Harriet walking towards him. He noticed her little face wasn't as red as before and her eyes looked clearer. "Hey sweetie. All ready to go?" He picked her up and held her tightly, feeling her little arms grip around his neck.

"Sir, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me and Bud. She's a wonderful girl. Congratulations." Harriet said good-bye to Aly who refused to remove her head from where it was buried in her father's shoulder.

"Thank you Harriet. Alyssa, I want you to meet Jennifer Coates. Jen, this is my daughter Aly." In case he did call Jen to baby sit, he wanted her to be some what familiar with Aly. Noticing her head was still buried, he carefully raised her chin. "You okay sweetie?"

Her lower lip began to quiver again. "Are we going to see mommy?"

Letting out a deep breath, he placed his cover on and reached for his briefcase again. "Yeah baby. Let's go. Bye Jen."

"Good luck Commander."

Harm met Maria outside. She was just finishing up her phone call and needed to return to work. After another good-bye, Harm secured Aly in the back seat and headed for the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3

AN – Thank you to all those that provided feedback. I've chosen a slightly different direction for this fic than originally planned. This will NOT be H/M. Sorry shippers. I'm just not motivated to go that way after watching current episodes. If you don't want to read it, so be it. Please don't bother sending me e-mails about the way I'm going to portray Mac's character. I will try to be fair while still conveying the story line I choose. As always, all other feedback is welcomed.

Special thanks to Vid for being a Beta and providing a sounding board and feed back.

Distribution: Yahoo group: Article78

To clear up some confusion, Harm did leave JAG after Paraguay, but later returned. He did not meet Mattie in the interim.

Hospital

Washington D.C.

Maggie's hospital room

Three hours and five cups of coffee later, he sat next to Maggie's bed, listening to the sound of monitors beeping. The doctors had confirmed what Maria told him earlier. Maggie had slipped into a coma and probably would not wake up again. The doctors claimed she would only last a day or two as her body had already begun to shut down. Harm had helped draw up a DNR for Maggie weeks ago while filing her will and custody papers. A list began to float through his mind. There were so many things to do.

A small whimper caught his attention. Once they had arrived at the hospital, Aly had crawled into the bed with her mother and refused to move. He didn't have the heart to deprive her of any time with her mother. The time would come soon enough when she would no longer see her. A sound from the door interrupted his thoughts. He was surprised to find Bud and Harriet waiting patiently.

"Sir, we hope you don't mind. We spoke to Ms. Lucen and she told us where to find you." Bud kept his voice low to prevent from waking the small girl.

"It's okay. I never intentionally meant to keep Maggie and Aly a secret." At the mention of her name, his little girl shifted her position briefly before returning to sleep. Harm stood and quickly ushered Bud and Harriet outside. "She's been sleeping for the past hour. I don't have the heart to tell her the doctors believe she won't wake-up again."

"Sir, the love a mother has for her child can defy anything, including doctor's orders." Harriet knew if she were in the same situation, she would do anything to say good-bye to Bud and AJ one last time. "Sir, we stopped by your apartment and grabbed you something to change into. We figured you may be more comfortable out of your uniform."

Harm gratefully accepted the bag. "Please, call me Harm and thank you. I didn't want to waste the time to drive over to my place earlier."

"Did the doctors have any good news?" Bud had heard some scuttlebutt and caught part of the Commander's conversation with the Admiral, but there were still many questions.

Harm shook his head and found a seat in the sterile, white hallway. "No, Maggie's been on borrowed time for a while. There is nothing left they can do, but make sure it's painless. The doctors say it should be over by tomorrow. We had told Aly everything, but I don't think there was any way to prepare her for this." It hurt to see his daughter dealing with such grief and anguish. He felt his own pain over loosing Maggie too. She had become such an important part of his life lately. She was a friend, taught him how to be a parent, and showed him how to enjoy life to the fullest even under dire circumstances. The three of them had started to become a family. He loved her. It may not have worked out between the two of them, but he would have been willing to try.

"Harm, why don't I stay with her for a few minutes and you can get changed. Then go with Bud down to the cafeteria to eat something. I'm sure you haven't had anything but coffee. You'll need all your strength." Harriet pushed the two men away from the room.

Harm was uncertain about leaving Alyssa. He felt better knowing she wouldn't be alone. "Okay, I guess you're right. Besides, I can grab some juice and a snack for Aly. If she wakes up, will you get us? I don't want her to think I left too." Harm allowed himself to be ushered into the nearest men's room. He felt more comfortable and relaxed in jeans and a shirt. It seemed like days ago since he put the uniform on.

The cafeteria was mostly deserted. Only a few people lingered around. Grabbing a salad and another coffee, Harm sat down with Bud. "You've been awfully quiet Bud."

"Sorry Sir. I was just thinking. Aly's about the same age as AJ."

"My life has completely changed and I wouldn't give it up for all the world. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I just wish I could save her this pain."

"Welcome to parenthood Commander."

As Harm and Bud walked back to the room, Harm spotted the doctor outside Maggie's room. From the expression on the older man's face, Harm could tell there was little good news. "Doctor, any news on Maggie?"

"I'm afraid it's not good. Her vital signs are still dropping. There is just nothing we can do, but make her comfortable."

"How long?"

"A few hours at most. It will be over tonight. I'm sorry. If you need anything, please page me."

Bud and Harriett remained as long as they could before returning home to little AJ. Eventually Harm sent them home with a promise he would call if he needed anything. Aly had woken up shortly after they left. She was still attached to her mother's side as Harm read to her. A nurse had given him a book on guardian angels in hope it would be a comfort to the young child.

Harm knew he was still suffering from the shock. Nothing entered his thoughts except Maggie and Alyssa. The nurses entered occasionally and left fresh coffee and juice. They still sat untouched on a table nearby. Despite the evening sun shinning in, the room screamed darkness and death.

A small movement caught his eye. Harm leaned closer to make sure he wasn't imagining things. Seeing Maggie was struggling to open her eyes, he stepped into her view and grabbed her hand. "Hi." Pain was etched across her face. Her eyes conveyed what her mouth could no longer say. It was time for her to go. Only her love for Alyssa was keeping her on this plane. "Aly, baby. It's time to say good-bye to mommy." His little girl lifted her head as the tears streamed down her face.

"Mommy, I love you." Aly could barely choke the words out in between her sobs.

"I love you too. We'll miss you like crazy, but we'll be okay. I promise." Harm could no longer prevent his own tears. He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned down toward Maggie's ear. "I'll make sure she never forgets. She'll always know who much you love her."

He watched her eyes turn from gratitude to sadness as she looked on her child one last time. "Love you both." She could barely manage the words as she struggled to breathe.

Harm grabbed Aly and spoke to her quietly. "Give mommy a kiss and a hug, okay." Aly complied with a sloppy kiss to the cheek as she lay back down next to her mother. Maggie's eyes showed her hesitancy to leave, but she could no longer keep them open. Moving down to her side, he kissed her good-bye one more time. "It's okay to go. We'll be alright."

Five minutes later, the doctor and nurse entered the room. Tears and sobs confirmed what the monitors showed them. Maggie had finally succumbed to her illness. Harm watched the doctor check Maggie one last time as the nurse looked on sympathetically. He turned off all the equipment and proceeded to make a notation on Maggie's chart. The crisp clanking sound of the chart closing spurred Harm into action. Carefully, he lifted Aly into his arms. Not sure how to console her, he held her tightly. "Okay baby. It's time to go home. Mommy's in heaven now." He watched her take one last look at the mother before burying her head in Harm's shoulder.

"Will you be okay to drive home? Is there someone I can call for you?" The nurse saw death every day, but her compassion was sincere.

"No thank you. We'll be okay." Quickly he scanned the room for his bag and jacket. Harm tried to make the stop at the administration desk brief while making arrangements to have the body transferred to the funeral home. After, he carried Aly out to the car and headed home. Home would no longer be his apartment north of Union Station, but Maggie's house. It had all of Aly's things and would hopefully be some comfort.

It took half an hour to reach the house. As soon as he picked up a sleeping Aly, he felt her grip almost painfully tighten. It took a gentle persuading before she would release him long enough to change into her pjs. Knowing she would not remain in her room alone, he grabbed her favorite stuffed bear and headed out to the couch. Stretching his legs out, he settled Aly on top of him. "Sleep baby."

"Love you Daddy."

"I love you too baby." As the quiet surrounded him, his thoughts raced. A quick decision was made and he grabbed the cell phone next to him. Pressing the speed dial on his phone, he waited for an answer.

"Hello?"

"Mom, I need you." The tears fell down his face again and mingled with Aly's hair.

"Harm, is that you? What's wrong?"

Suppressing a sob, he answered quietly. "She's gone mom. She couldn't hang on any longer."

Trish finally understood. She had been ecstatic to learn she finally had a granddaughter and troubled to hear about her mother's failing health. "Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry. Where are you? How is Aly?"

"I'm at the house. She's sleeping right now. I don't know what to do. It's so quiet."

Trish understood better than most. After loosing Harm Sr., she felt the same way. At night when Harm would go to sleep, the house became painfully quiet. "I know. Frank and I will fly out first thing in the morning. We'll help you take care of everything. Just make it through tonight. I know you probably won't, but try to get some sleep. I'll call you as soon as we get into D.C., okay?"

"Thanks mom. I love you."

"I love you too. Give my love to Aly. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye." As he hung up, the quiet returned.

TBC… Hopefully this week-end I'll have an update.


	4. Chapter 4

Next Day

Dulles Airport

Washington D.C.

Harm held Aly in his arms as he waited for his mother and stepfather to disembark. They had called first thing that morning to announce they were on the first flight to D.C. Harm had only left Aly long enough to shower while she watched cartoons. Other than that, the little girl refused to let him out of her sight. Afterwards, he finally convinced her to have some breakfast as he consumed cup after cup of coffee.

It had been a long night. Aly woke several times with tears running down her face and calling out for her mother. Between his own thoughts and Aly's tears, he didn't get any sleep. Coffee was the only thing keeping him on his feet. Exhausted, blood shot eyes from crying, and a five o'clock shadow from not shaving, was the image he presented as he waited for his mother.

It didn't take long for his mother and Frank to disembark from first class. He could tell immediately from his mother's reaction, he looked as bad as he felt. With Aly still in his arms, he allowed his mother to pull him into a hug. Her presence brought some solace. At least now, he knew someone would be thinking clearly enough to make sure Aly got the care and comfort she needed. Unfortunately with his own grief, he didn't trust himself for that job. Basking in her embrace, he opened his eyes to see Frank standing right there, willing to offer any support. He knew he hadn't been fair to Frank over the years. Frank had stood by him though the nightmares of Vietnam, encouraged his mother to allow him to go to the Academy, and later funding his search for his father in Russia. Through it all, his quiet, mild mannered step father never asked for anything in return.

"Oh Harm. I'm so sorry." Trish couldn't believe how her normally squared away son looked so disheveled.

"I know. I'm so glad you could both come. I want you to meet someone. Aly, this is your grandmother." Harm stepped back to allow Aly to lift her head from his shoulder where she continued to hide her face.

"Oh sweetie. Look at you. You are so precious." Trish wanted to say more, but was afraid to upset the child at the airport.

"And Aly, this is your grandfather." Harm knew he may never call Frank his father, but it was the least he could do to have his children called him a grandfather.

Frank was overwhelmed with emotions. He knew Harm had a hard time acknowledging his place in the family, but he didn't expect such a declaration. "Thank you Harm. It's so nice to meet you Aly." He watched the small girl barely acknowledge his presence. "Why don't we get out of here and continue this elsewhere." With only hard times ahead, he knew privacy would be needed.

"That's a good idea. Let's grab the luggage and head back to the house. Maggie has a spare guest room for you to stay in." When they reached the baggage claim, Aly would not allow Harm to put her down to carry a suitcase. Frank quickly waved off his attempts to help and soon they were headed back to the house.

Once at home, Aly finally allowed her father to let her go. She had sat in the passenger seat on the way home, clutching to his hand the entire time. Trish and Frank dismissed his attempts to apologize. Trish recalled her own battles with Harm after Harm Sr. went down. The separation anxiety would decrease eventually, but in the meantime, there was no reason to push Aly.

After putting their things away, Trish insisted on cooking dinner for the family. Harm followed her into the kitchen to talk. Luckily, Alyssa was content to sit by her grandfather and watch her cartoons again.

"How are you doing?"

Harm wasn't sure how to answer that question. "Okay I guess. I'm worried about her. I'm worried about a lot of things."

"Have you made the arrangements?"

"Yeah, I called the funeral home this morning. Maggie had taken care of everything. There wasn't much left to do. The funeral will be tomorrow. She didn't want a wake. She didn't have any family left, just some friends. I talked to one of them this morning and she'll let everyone know the details."

"What about you? I thought your friends would have been here?" Trish had been shocked to find no one waiting at the house. She figured his friends from JAG would be around for support.

"Um, I haven't told anyone yet. I never got around to telling them about Aly. They know now, but well, things aren't the same as they were before I left. I'll be okay though. I should call the Roberts and let them know."

"Why don't you go do that? I'll finish dinner and call you when it's ready. Maybe after you speak to them, you could lay down for a little bit. Dinner will take another 45 minutes. Grab a quick nap. Frank and I will take care of Aly." His behavior worried her. His unkempt appearance was understandable, but out of character. What worried her even more was the thought he had no one to turn to for support. She didn't understand what had changed. She had been sure Sturgis and Mac would have been by his side. No, she didn't like what she saw at all.

"Hi Harriet. It's Harm."

"Commander, how are you doing? Has there been any change?" Harriet was thrilled to hear from him. They had tried to call the hospital earlier, but they weren't releasing any information.

"I'm okay. Maggie passed away last night. You were right though. She woke up briefly to say good-bye. I wanted to call and let you know. Also, I wanted to say thank you. I really appreciated you coming by yesterday."

"Oh Sir, I'm so sorry. Is there anything Bud and I can do for you? When will the service be?"

Harm smiled briefly. He could always count on Harriet and Bud for anything. "The service is tomorrow. It will be at the church on 8th and Mason tomorrow morning. Maggie was a member there and they have a small cemetery out back." Harm knew he could tell them not to come, but they would anyway as a show of support. He also knew he would need their support and guidance as he learned to become a full time parent to Aly.

"Is there anything you need or that I can do for you Sir?" It was so sad. Aly was the same age as AJ. She couldn't imagine facing a future raising AJ alone.

"No thank you. My mom and Frank flew in this morning. They'll be staying with us at the house for a while. Although, I'm sure I'll be asking you for some parenting advice sooner or later. And Harriet, drop the sir."

"Of course Sir. Oh, sorry Harm. Are you sure you don't need anything? I could fix you dinner and bring it over."

"Thanks Harriet, but my mother had already started dinner. I appreciate the offer."

"Okay, we'll see you tomorrow then. If there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to call. You've always been there for Bud and me. We'd like to be able to return the favor." Harm had been there for everything for them. He helped them find each other, buy a house, and recently helped them through the anguish of Bud loosing his leg.

Later that night, Harm lay in bed unable to sleep. It had been an active night. Aly began to open up to her grandparents and even agreed to go back to her regular routine of a bath before bed. Surprisingly, she made no objections at sleeping in her own bed. She had quickly climbed under the covers once the family agreed to tuck her in. However, Harm was certain he would see her climbing in his bed before the night was through. He had spoken briefly with Frank about his financial situation. He assured him that the house didn't have a mortgage. It had been handed down through Maggie's family for four or five generations. Maggie had made sure to be up to date on all her bills. His only concern was the hospital bills. He knew how quickly those built up. However, her health insurance should have covered most of it. Harm spoke to Frank about using the money left in the estate for a trust for Aly. Maggie had already provided a college fund in her will. Eventually, exhaustion took over and Harm passed into a fitful sleep.

It was a nice spring day with the sun shinning and the birds singing. It would have been the perfect day to take Sarah up for a long flight. Instead of flying, he was dressed up in a suit and trying to console Alyssa. A few of Maggie's friends had shown up at the grave site for the funeral. Maria was there as well. However, Aly refused to leave Harm's side.

When he woke up earlier that morning, he wasn't surprised to fine out he had company. He was shocked that he didn't feel Aly sneak into his bed during the night. She had managed to crawl under the covers and curl up next to him. As soon as he moved, she woke and refused to leave his side. It took forever to convince her to let him shower while Trish made her breakfast. Now, she clung to his leg as the minister spoke of her mother.

He had been shocked to see most of the JAG staff arrive before the service. He expected Bud, Harriet, and possibly Jennifer Coates. The shock set in when he saw who was behind them. The Admiral, Mac, and Sturgis had all shown up. It was slightly uncomfortable to see them all in uniform while he was dressed in a dark suit. He had forgone his uniform, unwilling to allow proper decorum to prevent him from consoling his daughter and grieving properly for such a wonderful woman.

As the minister said his last prayer, he lifted Aly into his arms. "Oh baby." As he attempted to dry her tears, he could feel his own falling. "It will be okay. Mommy's in heaven now. We're going to be okay."

"Harm, why don't you let me have her. Take a minute to say good-bye yourself." Trish reached for her granddaughter. It amazed her how quickly Alyssa had accepted her and Frank. She pulled out a tissue and spoke softly she moved away from the grave. She knew Harm needed a few minutes to compose himself. It stunned her how deeply he was affected by a woman he only met a short time ago. She had asked him about it the previous night. The answer was not a surprise. "She gave me the most precious thing in the world," was his reply. With a quick look, she asked Frank to remain by Harm's side.

"Ma'am. I'm Petty Officer Jennifer Coates. I work with the Commander. How is he doing?" Jen had walked over to Mrs. Burnett. She had seen the grief and knew the Commander needed a moment. Bud and Harriet had followed her.

"He'll be alright. It will just take some time. Harm's spoken of you before. It's a pleasure to meet you." Trish turned slightly to address the Robert's. "You must be Bud and Harriet. Harm's always talking about you. I feel like I know you all. Thank you for being there for him the other night."

"It was our pleasure ma'am," Bud replied.

Harriet watched Alyssa turn her head slightly to hear the conversation. "He's been there for us so much in the past. It's an honor to return the favor." Her facial expression softened more before turning her attention to Aly. "Hi Aly."

"I've convinced Harm to have some people back at the house for lunch. I know he would love to have you all there," Trish said.

"As long as we're not imposing ma'am. Is the Commander going to be moving into the house?" Harriet asked.

Trish stared at Aly for a moment and stroked her hair. "I don't know Harriet. I don't think Harm has had anytime to think yet. I do know he can use his friends right now."

Bud nodded his head in agreement. "Always ma'am. We'll do whatever we can to help. We'll follow you back to the house."

Frank watched as the man he always considered his son tried to reign in his emotions. "Harm, it's time to leave."

"Why don't you and Mom go ahead, I'll catch up in a little while."

Frank was troubled watching Harm. For all the tramatic events he watched Harm go through, this one seemed to unnerve him the most. "Aly needs to go home Harm."

"Of course, take her with you."

"Harm," Frank turned and forced Harm's eyes off the coffin. "Harm, Aly needs to go home and so do you. She needs you. There is no way she'll let us leave with you still here. I can't imagine how hard this is, but you need to hold this together a little longer today." Finally seeing some recognition in Harm's eyes, Frank breathed a sigh of relief. "Come on. Everyone is waiting on us."

Harm reached into his jacket and pulled out his sun glasses. "It's stupid. Before I ever met Maggie, Maria told me she was going to die. This whole time, we've been preparing for it. I don't know why it's hit me so hard now. I'll be raising Aly alone."

"Harm, you'll never be alone. Let's go see my granddaughter."

The entire JAG staff had returned to the house after the service. After making sure that Alyssa was comfortable in front of the television watching her cartoons, Harm disappeared into the backyard again. Trish was concerned about how quiet he was being. Unfortunately, by the time she made her way outside, someone was already there.

Harm stood on the back porch. The large yard was scattered with Aly's toys. Weeds were starting to overtake the gardens. Luckily, the landscaper kept the lawns mowed. Maggie had always taken care of the flower gardens or so she said. With her failing health, the gardens had become neglected. He would have to fix that soon. With the summer almost begun, Aly would probably want to be outside playing. A gentle hand on his should startled him.

"Harm, how are you?" Mac wasn't sure how to approach him after the scene in the Admiral's office last week.

"I'm okay. Thank you for coming."

The politeness to his tone concerned her greatly. She couldn't understand why he hid something so important from the staff at JAG. "Aly seems like a wonderful little girl. I'm surprised how cheerful she seems."

"What are you talking about? How cheerful can she be when she just lost her mother?" Harm couldn't understand what Mac was saying.

"I just mean she seems to be taking it well. She's in their playing with Jen Coates."

Harm didn't need to hear anymore. Rushing into the house, he wanted to see how someone got his daughter to smile when he hadn't been able to. As he entered the living room, he noitced Petty Officer Coates sitting in the corner of the room, away from the few mourners who had returned to the house. She was on the floor with Aly on one side and little AJ on the other, surrounded by a few of Aly's toys and books. The kids seemed hypnotized as Jen read from a story book. Slowly, he walked over and sat down next to Aly.

"Daddy, Jen's reading a story to me and AJ. She does funny voices too."

"Sir, I hope you don't mind. AJ came over to keep us company. We'll clean everything up." Jen wasn't sure how to interpret the Commander's reaction. She hoped bringing the toys out was okay. It broke her heart to see Aly sitting so quietly while the adults wandered around the room. Every so often, someone would sit by her and pat her leg in sympathy. By the time each person left, Aly's eyes would be sad again. Jen thought the toys would provide a quiet distraction. She had lost her mother at a young age too. Nothing anyone said or did would take away the pain, but at least she could cheer up the adorable little girl. After a while, AJ had wondered over, bored with watching his parents talk with Uncle AJ, Aunt Mac, and people he didn't know. Getting bored with the toys eventually, Aly requested a story. Jen thought it was a wonderful way to keep the children quiet and amused. Unfortunately, the kids encouraged her to use different voices for the characters. Soon all three were laughing and having fun. It wasn't the most appropriate place to be carrying on, but it was so wonderful to see Aly happy.

"It's okay Jen. In fact, thank you. I haven't been able to get her to smile for two days." Harm picked Aly up and placed her on his lap. "Please keep reading. After the story, I'll make these two munchkins something to eat."

Trish saw the four of them laughing and playing. She stopped for a moment to enjoy the sound. Seeing Harm and Aly so care free, she snuck upstairs and grabbed a camera. A few moments later, the image was preserved forever. She couldn't express her gratitude to the Petty Officer for making them smile.

A week had passed since the funeral. Unfortunately Frank had to return to California for business while Trish stayed to help out. Harm had decided to move into the master bedroom, with Aly's approval. Together, they had packed away some of Maggie's things. The clothes went to goodwill mostly. Her jewelry was packed away for when Aly got older. Trish insisted on making small changes in each room to add a little of Harm's taste and style to the home. All of Harm's furniture from the apartment had been merged into the house or placed in the attic. Luckily, the house had a full attic and basement with plenty of room for storage.

As Trish moved through each room, she found a locked door in the house. "Harm, do you have keys to this door?"

"What door?"

"This one. What's in here that you need to keep it locked up?"

Harm was flabbergasted. "I never noticed this door. I guess Maggie never got around to showing me everything. It's an old house, she only used half the rooms. At it is, I'm probably going to need to keep the cleaning lady she had." Harm knew the house was too big, but it was going into trust for Aly. As long as he head the money, they would remain in the house and continue its upkeep. "Let me check the desk in the study. There might be some keys there."

As he searched the draws, Harm finally found the keys. "I found them Mom. One of these should work." After a few attempts, he finally found the right key. Dust swirled into the hallway as the light streamed through the door. "What in the world?"


End file.
